A Learning Activity for Editing

Reference my previous blog Google Apps for Education to better understand how we're using Google Doc presentations.

We made our presentation "fat" when each student added to it the sentence they'd constructed about serial commas.
 Posted was Maya Angelou's and my example:

His room smelled of cooked grease, Lysol, and age. 

--Maya Angelou, I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings (1969)

Hector's room smelled of gym socks, Ranch Doritos, and lies. 

--Mrs. Johnson (2011)

I then asked them to follow this model, which was written on the presentation:

 (Place) smells like ______, ______, and _____." 
Please make the smells distinctly different. Cite as shown (Your name, 2011)

A handful of students got it perfectly--they noticed the difference in the examples and the model, changed "smelled" to "smells," used a place, and wrote a list of distinct smells. Another handful didn't focus on the model but got the place and distinct smells. And there were some that didn't use a place but a thing that was not a place, or they didn't use distinctively different aromas. 

I pulled the presentation up and we critiqued each one in a very nice, constructive way, verbally high-fiving those that got it perfectly. I wasn't trying to trick them; I wanted them to learn to focus on what was asked of them. Was this an eye-opener? Of course. 

But here's the kicker and I didn't expect this: by the third or fourth slightly incorrect sentence, students immediately volunteered what was wrong with the sentence they'd written as soon as it was read aloud, without my calling on them. They wanted to address it first, they wanted to show they understood what had happened. Now, you may think this was a cruel way to introduce them to writing for an audience. But they were all engaged, and not one student was distracted from the activity. We applauded the sentences that followed the model and enjoyed the huge variety of literal and figurative smells. I then asked them to make changes to these same sentences they had posted on their individual web pages to receive full credit.

The ensuing discussion got lively as some that followed the model claimed their due, while some woefully admitted they had rushed through the assignment. It looked like a very simple writing task, but they'd gotten it a bit wrong. I reminded them that this happens to everyone, but that they had to sharpen their focus when writing for an audience. I explained that as self-editors we have to be the first to notice our flaws, we have to continuously work on our writing skills and reflect on them after completion. 

I can remember writing essays for undergraduate courses on the old onion-skin paper that some professors insisted upon. Inevitably, three-fourths towards the bottom of a typed page, I would make a typo, and have to yank it out and start over. Students today do not have to do this, and they should be happy that technology has evolved as it has. But that doesn't mean they can't continue to reflect on their writing, nor does it mean they should read through their finished product once and be done with it. Blogging allows us to save, make changes, preview, and come back again later to write or change some more. Should we have higher expectations for students because of technology? I think we should. There are so many tools built in that help: spell-check, grammar assistance, thesaurus, dictionary, and so on. We can ask them to be thorough. We don't have to be ruthless, but we must ask them to examine once, reflect, and examine again until they develop the intrinsic motivation to write well for an audience or just for themselves. Digital tools offer them the ability to examine deeply, alter their work when needed, and make the best of their efforts in a painless fashion.

And now I welcome your thoughts on this activity. Was it too cruel? Was it definitive college/career preparation? What do you think?